Tag: forgiveness

Trinity 15: Forgive us our trespasses…

13/9/26
Trinity 15

Romans 14:1-12
Matthew 18:21-end

I trust that this won’t be the first or last sermon you hear preached on forgiveness. I also hope that I have something new to offer as it is a tough and emotive subject for many people. We all have stories to share about times when we have needed to forgive another person or be forgiven for something we have done. I would also venture a guess that we have stories that we don’t share about times and situations of forgiveness and forgiveness.

It seems that it is the untold stories that often go unresolved. These stories often come out around the deathbed and by then it is often too late to do anything about it.

There are always the smaller, everyday forgiveness that need to be offered. The bad drivers, the unkind remark, the thoughtless comment, the missed birthday, or forgotten detail. We need to keep our accounts short as my mother would say.

As a starting point, forgiveness is an act of the will. It acknowledges that something negative, awful, traumatic and damaging happened and that it will not rule our lives. Forgiveness takes the power out of the event. It does not accept what happened as acceptable or permissible. It is important to hear that.

Forgiveness also does not mean that we must continue a relationship with the person/people who caused the event. We do not have to trust them again. Consequences follow all actions and this extends to the ending of relationships. This also goes both ways; if we are the one in the wrong, the one who seeks forgiveness, we should not necessarily expect that relationship to continue.

We have to ask for forgiveness if/when we have wronged someone else. We also have to extend forgiveness to those who need it from us. This can be a slow process! We may have to remind ourselves over and over again.

I have been talking about forgiveness to or from other people. There is also the forgiveness that we need from God. Many people believe that to forgive someone else there must be repentance first. In order for us to receive God’s forgiveness we need to repent first. Repent has a richer meaning in the original Greek; it is an internal reorientation, turning around thoughts and attitudes with an active change in behaviour.

We are all called to repent – I do it every week from the front. I give you space and time (probably not enough) for reflection and maybe the internal changes required of true repentance.

However, we cannot make another person repent of their wrongdoings any more than they can make us. The only way we are convicted is by the Holy Spirit moving us, calling us to repent. We are still called to forgive even when the other party does not show any signs. They might not care or be aware. Worse, they might know and still not care.

Secondly, what will extending forgiveness to another look like for us? What will change? What will life be like? This is what Peter wants clarified in Matthew’s Gospel. Jesus has taught the disciples about forgiveness when he taught them how to pray. Matthew 6: forgive us our trespasses and we forgive others…

Peter wants to know how this works out practically; what is the limit? The Jewish rabbis were teaching that forgiving someone three times for the same sin was good enough. Peter thinks that by offering seven he is doing better. Seven being the number of fulfillment or perfection.

Jesus’ reply is much greater. He tells Peter and us that there is no limit to forgiveness. It is something that we are always going to have to do. As long as human beings exist together in community, in families, in friendship, in the workplace forgiveness is a cornerstone to good relationships.

The parable of the master and his servants underlines what Jesus had just said about unrestricted, unlimited forgiveness.

The first servant who sees the king has massive debt, billions of pounds in today’s money and completely beyond what he could ever pay back. The master could have ordered the man, his family and possessions to be sold to pay it off even though it would not ever cover it. The man falls on his face and begs for mercy.

The master is moved with compassion so decides to forgive him the debt. The only other times compassion is used in Matthew is in relation to Jesus. This king showed the compassion of Jesus.

Unfortunately for the newly forgiven servant the story doesn’t end here! He forgets what he has been released from as he encounters his fellow slave who owes him much less. About 600,000 times less!

The fellow servant pleads in exactly the same way that the servant had pleaded with the master but for a much smaller debt. The response was entirely different; physical violence and a lot of shouting. This gets back to the master who reverses his decision and the first servant is thrown into prison. He will be there forever.

That is what withholding mercy and forgiveness does – it locks us up in a prison of our own making.

Paul is teaching the new church in Rome to accept one another and avoid passing on judgment over non-essential, disputable matters like diets and holy days. I asked the Wednesday Study Group if they had any harmless preferences or habits they secretly wished everyone else would adopt. Things like how to load a dishwasher, or hang laundry or driving habits. We had a great discussion with a range of answers.

The new church in Rome was a mix of people; slaves and free, Jewish converts and Gentiles with no background. Some of the Jewish people were holding on to their kosher rules and sacred days; while the Gentiles had no need for either.

Some people need stricter personal rules to follow God, other people understand their freedom in Christ. Either way God has accepted them both. We are to honour God and give thanks.

Paul reminds them that they will all stand before God in judgment to give an account of themselves, not of other people. We have no right to judge or despise others.

Jesus parable ends with prison, hell with no way out as the debt will never be repaid. We can never repay the debt of the cross and because of this we need to forgive other people. Not easy, it takes time and needs to be repeated as there is no limit. Measured against the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, we can and must.

We reflect God’s forgiveness of our sins and shortcomings when we forgive other people. Think about this when we pray the Lord’s Prayer shortly. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. True disciples of Jesus are to act from mercy, forgiveness and love; in the same way God has acted towards them.

We will be treated as we treat others. This is why we have to love our neighbours, forgive our neighbours as ourselves. I need God’s forgiveness – a lot. Jesus has all the love, grace and mercy we will ever need. We can use His when we do not have enough of our own. Forgiveness comes at a high price; ultimately a price paid for by Jesus.

Trinity 5: Making up the Rules

5/7/26
Trinity 9

Romans 7:15-25a
Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30

I am never quite sure how to start sermons about sin. I have heard a good number on the topic; some have started rather bluntly with ‘you bunch of sinners!’. Others have led down the garden path with a gentle introduction of the topic and then dropped the hammer. I have not decided which I prefer.

This morning I am talking about sin. Your sin. My sin. Our sin. This is not solely because we are overly sinful or that you need a telling off from the front. Both readings this morning talk about Jesus and his coming to set people free. Free from what? Sin.

The word sin often gets used in the wrong context and has lost its meaning. In contemporary culture it used to advertise chocolate, alcohol, lingerie – all the ‘naughty but nice’ things. Sin is positioned as something indulgent but not necessarily dangerous. Sin in the church context can feel judgmental and outdated. Again we want to soften it.

How do you define sin? When you hear the word what immediately comes to mind? Is it only the naughty things we do? Is it harmless?

Sin is not limited to our actions but also our thoughts and words. We can also sin by not doing what we should do. In the words of the confession we seek absolution for the things we have left undone.

Sin has much to do with our attitudes. Any attitude that says ‘I don’t need God – I can do this myself’ or any action, thought, word that separates us from God. Anything that puts us out of sync with God can be considered sinning.

Sometimes it does not take much for that to happen. In the Romans reading Paul has caught the idea that we are often in conflict with ourselves. We know what good we want to do, but somehow we do the opposite. Paul is lamenting his own state; ‘I do the things that I do not want to do and the things I don’t want to do – I do!’ Anyone else?!
Part of the difficulty with this Romans passage is that we do not know if Paul is talking about his life as a pious Jew before his conversion or if he is talking about his life as a Christian after his Damascus Road experience.

Whatever the answer is; Paul is talking about the power of sin and the inability of human nature to break free from its strangle-hold. This is true for all human beings; regardless of religious stripe or belief. Even if people wanted to break free from sin, they would find that their good intentions were frustrated by sin. This is a very human response!

There are two dangers that we can fall into when it comes to sin. The first is that basically everything we do is sinful or has some element of sin in it. I am not sure if this is the case.

Secondly and more worryingly is that some people think that they do not sin at all ever. They may have convinced themselves that whatever wrong or unjust things they do aren’t really a sin. It can be excused away without confronting their actions.

If we are honest with ourselves and with God, we know that we do things, say things, think things that are wrong, that separate us from Him. We might be able to convince ourselves that whatever we thought, said or did was not all that bad when compared to what other people do or say or that the person affected deserved it. We are only playing a game with ourselves and making up the rules to suit us.

This is what Jesus is referring to in Matthew’s Gospel when he describes this generation like children sitting in the marketplace calling to one another. They were playing games and making up the rules as they went in regard to Jesus and John the Baptist. John didn’t eat or drink and they accused him of having a demon. Jesus ate and drank and was accused of being a drunk and glutton. You can’t win!

We sometimes hold ourselves to different standards than we do other people. We make up different rules for us and for them so we can let ourselves off the hook far more easily than others.

But when we compare ourselves to Jesus we all fall a long way short. We might look pretty good compared to murderers, robbers and maybe even our neighbours. However that is not the standard that Christians are held to. It is the standard of Jesus. The next time you find yourself getting a bit uppity with someone else, check to see if you do that thing that they are doing!

Another problem with sin is that we do not want to get caught. We don’t want others to know about the things we do, say, think that are less than honourable.

The author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (wrote the Sherlock Holmes books) once played a practical joke on 12 men. They were all very well-known, respected and honorable men. He sent each of them a telegram, with the same message: ‘Flee at once. All is discovered!’ Apparently within 24 hours they had all fled the country!

We all want to avoid shame and embarrassment; we have done and said things that we would not want others to know about. We often put up barriers around us to avoid the possibility of being found out. We don’t want people to think less of us or badly of us.

Paul laments doing those things that he doesn’t want to do – anybody can relate to this?

Whether it is a package of biscuits, what we watch on TV, the next drink or the deeper things such as unforgiveness, anger, lack of charity, and anything that we worship more than God needs to be addressed and treated seriously.

What do we do?
We start by recognising the sin in our lives. This is what Paul is doing as he realises the conflict within himself. Jesus points out to the child-like generation who make up rules and play their silly games.

Not just recognise – but name it. Not easy but necessary.

When are you tempted to fall into sin? Some of the most comforting words ever to fall from the mouth of Jesus are ‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’

When you are stressed out, angry, anxious, hungry, not getting enough sleep; in other words weary and burdened. All these conditions can push us into making bad decisions that can lead us to sin. Jesus is saying come to me and I will give you rest.

Recognising it – identifying when it might happen and taking it to Jesus.

Leave a moment…

Advent 2: Lives of the Prophets – Light in the Darkness

Emmanuel – 11:00 am P&P
8/12/24
Advent 2 – Year C

Malachi 3:1-4
Luke 3:1-6

This past week I have spent quite a lot of my parish time on funeral planning for three upcoming services. Yes – we are starting on a happy note. I went looking for a grave from 1872 in the St Nicholas churchyard with no luck. While there I ran into an aunt visiting the grave of her nephew on the anniversary of his death. I also went to East Surrey Hospital to give our dear Marion Dallison last rites before she died on Wednesday evening.

There has also been a spate of deaths in the Gatwick terminals that I have been made aware of. And I learned about the impending death of an old school friend in Canada after a horrendous cancer journey and she will be leaving a husband and two little boys.

My heart has been rather heavy! This is supposed to be a holly-jolly time of year…

Yet in the midst of this I met a family to discuss the baptism of their delightful first born daughter Anthea. What a joy that was. To bask in the smiles of a 5 month old baby to talk about her life in Christ at the start of the journey was balm to this soul. This was a reminder about light in the darkness, in the sorrows of life that there can be joy.

This theme is found in the heart of the messages and prophecies of the prophets.

The Second Sunday of Advent focuses on the prophets of the bible. The Wednesday Advent study group has been looking at them as well. There are four Major Prophets: Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Daniel. The prophets and prophetesses in the Old Testament were spokespersons for God. Their job was to announce God’s will or intentions for people, predicted the future, or did both. They represented God to a particular people at a particular time about specific events. They voice God’s opinion on what is going on – offering God’s perspective.

The messages of the prophets cannot always be applied to other events so careful reading is required. The original messages are rooted in historical events. Some spoke to the political & military crisis (Isaiah). Amos spoke about lament and social justice. The prophecies are always connected to the now and possible future consequences; prophets are not fortune-tellers or speaking directly to future events.

Many of the prophets found themselves literally and figuratively in the wilderness. That place of loneliness where nothing grows; all seems empty and lifeless. We too can find ourselves in those wilderness places, maybe when things do not work out the way they should, when that death comes sooner than we thought, health fails, that job gets lost, a relationship breaks down.

To make wilderness experiences all the more painful, we can often feel that God has somehow left us alone and has become distant or absent. We may not feel close to Him or Him to us.

Malachi is assumed to be the last prophet of the Old Testament as his book closes it out. There was roughly a 400-year gap when God was silent. (Jane Williams): In Malachi there is an argument going on between God and his people. At the end of chapter 2, Malachi says that the people have wearied God, and they ask indignantly what they have done.

Malachi replies that they have called into question God’s justice and so his very character. The people have said, ‘All who do evil are good in the sight of the Lord. Where is the God of justice?’

God answers them – both in Malachi and Luke. God is a righteous God and he will make sure his righteousness prevails. He does this by sending his messenger and the people may well live to regret it. God’s messenger is of course Jesus. The Lord’s messenger will be sent to prepare the way and then the Lord will suddenly come to his temple. There is no time given for this. The people have to watch and wait for the signs.

And then the dawn breaks in the wilderness. After 400 years with not a word from the heavens, the forerunner to the messenger appears in the wilderness. ‘The word of God came to John son of Zechariah in the wilderness.’

This is no random appearance. If you look at the detail that Luke provides: ‘in the fifteenth year of reign of Emperor Tiberius, when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, when Herod was ruler of Galilee, and his brother Philip ruler of Ituraea and Trachonitis, Lysanias ruler of Abilene, during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word came to John son of Zechariah in the wilderness.’

John’s timing was precise and divinely ordained for that exact moment and place in the wilderness. Our time on earth is just as precise and divinely ordained. When you pray with and for someone around the time of death there is always a space for prayers of confession, repentance and absolution. This is a very fruitful time for many people.

I understand not everyone gets this opportunity for repentance at the time of death as it is very dependent on various factors. Therefore, my friends, we need to take the opportunity in life to use our time and timings for this very fruitful activity!

Like John, we too have been given a way to prepare. The way of repentance. This is what the people who heard Malachi’s prophecy and later John’s and likely many of us today may not want to hear! John came at that exact moment to proclaim a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. What if we too started this new church year with an honest, wilderness-style reckoning of our sin?

Debie Thomas. ‘What is sin? Growing up, I was taught that sin is “breaking God’s laws.” Or “missing the mark,” as an archer misses his target. Or “committing immoral acts.” These definitions aren’t wrong, but they assume that sin is a problem primarily because it angers God.
But God’s temper is not what’s at stake; he’s more than capable of managing his own emotions. Sin is a problem because it kills. It kills us.
Why? Because sin is a refusal to become fully human. It’s anything that interferes with the opening up of our whole hearts to God, to others, to creation, and to ourselves. Sin is estrangement, disconnection, sterility, disharmony. It’s the slow accumulation of dust, choking the soul. It’s the sludge that slows us down, that says, “Quit. Stop trying. Give up. Change is impossible.”
Sin is apathy. Care-less-ness. A frightened resistance to an engaged life. Sin is the opposite of creativity, the opposite of abundance, the opposite of flourishing. It is a walking death. And it is easier to spot, name, and confess a walking death in the wilderness than it is anywhere else.

Here’s the really great news, repentance and forgiveness are not far away from any of us. We do it in every service whether Matins or Communion. We started this morning with the Sentences of Scripture before we are invited to confess our manifold sins and wickedness.

Can I ask you to think back a few minutes, what did you do with that time this morning? What goes through your head when we say these things? Did you repent of anything? Ask for forgiveness?

You were then offered absolution; did you take it? I make an assumption every time I put my hand up to make the sign of the cross, that you have repented and that you take the comfort of the absolution offered. There is also further reference to repentance and forgiveness; in the Benedictus and the Apostles Creed, ‘suffered under Pontius Pilate’ – there’s that timing again – ‘was crucified, dead and buried.’

Lord’s Prayer – forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.

This is not in any way to condemn, make us dwell in our failures and shortcomings but rather to free us from the bonds, to wake us up to the reality we may live in, become more aware of the dust and sludge has built up and we may not have even realised it. This is what stands in our way to the manger on this Advent journey.

Our human love, however well-meant and deep, remains imperfect in the light of God’s love. Love and repentance go together. There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.

At the start of this new year, we need a wilderness moment that will lead to fruitfulness and abundant living in this new season. The time is now and the time is always right to confess, repent and accept forgiveness that is on offer to us. If this is a wilderness season for you, start to look for signs of new life. That life may start with confession.

We don’t have to go far: it is in your hands at every service, it is in the words we say. Sometimes it simply needs to be brought to our attention. Grab hold of the promises of God, grab hold of the messenger who has come to prepare the way for us, grab hold of the deep and unchanging love of God. Listen for the voice of the one crying out in the wilderness.