St Nicholas Charlwood
All Souls
November 3rd, 2024
All Souls by May Sarton
Psalm 27:1-6, 13-14
John 11:32-44
May Sarton ‘All Souls’
Did someone say that there would be an end,
an end, Oh, an end to love and mourning?
What has been once so interwoven cannot be ravelled,
not the gift ungiven.
Now the dead move through all of us still glowing.
Mother and child, lover and lover mated,
are wound and bound together and enflowing.
What has been plaited cannot be unplaited–
only the strands grow richer with each loss
and memory makes kings and queens of us.
Dark into light, light into darkness, spin.
When all the birds have flow to some real haven,
we who find shelter in the warmth within,
listen and feel new-cherished, new-forgiven,
as the lost human voices speak through us
and blend our complex love,
our mourning without end.
In Church of England tradition, we come together over these few days at the beginning of November for a short season of remembrance. The Church has marked All Saints and All Souls for hundreds of years. It stems from the belief that there is a powerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and those living on earth. It is often said in my family that the dead sit at the dinner table long after they are gone.
This service offers us space and time to give thanks to God for the life and love that was shared, for the memories we carry and to ask for God’s help if we have unfinished business with those who have died. Not all our remembering will be of the good, sweet times as none of us are perfect and neither were they!
The only alternative to avoiding grief is to avoid love. To avoid the grief I feel over my person who has died means I would have had to forfeit the love and the relationship that we shared. We cannot have it both ways. May Sarton’s poem that Lorne just read begins with a very good question…‘Did someone say there would be an end to love and mourning?’ I doubt there is anything more complicated than love and grief.
I appreciate that many relationships are complicated. We should not pretend they are not. Some feelings about the person who has died might be mixed or ambiguous; maybe there is guilt or shame if you felt you did not do enough for them or felt relief when death finally came. We must be very careful in how we interpret relationships; especially ones that are not ours even if they are in the same family. There can also be great temptation when someone dies to want to paint a rosier picture of them, their life and relationships than actually ever existed. We lie! We do it for all sorts of reasons; some even noble ones.
We are wound and bound together and plaited together as May Sarton says. It cannot be undone even if we come undone. We are held together by love.
Love is a thread through the story of the raising of Lazarus. We can be held together by love and belief even when it seems impossible and we do not understand what or why things are happening. This is a complicated story as it raises a number of questions about the nature of life and death, faith and belief, Jesus’ miracles and the wider story of what will happen to Jesus.
At the heart of this story is a close-knit, loving family with a brother who is ill. There is an assumption that Mary, Martha & Lazarus have been orphaned at some point. If this is true then they know something of grief. We also know that they lived in Bethany which was on the edge of Jerusalem. Bethany was known to be a place where sick and poor people lived. Along the way these three poor orphans met Jesus and they became friends. When Lazarus became ill, the sisters sent a note to Jesus telling him that. They did not ask Jesus to come to them; maybe they assumed He would.
The story unfolds that Jesus does not immediately go to see them. Lazarus dies and his body is put into the tomb before Jesus arrives and the normal Jewish grieving process begins. There was no waiting around like many people today have to wait around for cremation or burial.
Jesus arrives and the sisters react differently. Martha goes out to meet him while Mary stays home. Jesus has to ask for Mary to come to see him. Mary’s opening statement is relatable to anyone who has ever felt abandoned by God, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ If if if. If the cancer was caught earlier, if the NHS waiting lists were not so long, if the scan showed, if they had left the house 10 minutes later or earlier, if God really loved them or me, then…
Jesus offers no explanation or excuse for his delay as though an answer would make anyone feel better at this moment. Jesus does not speak. He sees. Jesus sees Martha & Mary and all the others weeping and begins to weep too. If nothing else we see a God who weeps with us, knows and shares our pain even when we think we have been abandoned. Jesus’ love for these poor orphans is visible to everyone.
If the story stopped there we would still have a wonderful picture of God’s love. It goes further of course with the raising of Lazarus from death. Now we might wish to have had longer with our loved ones and ask why they did not get more time. Why did God not spare their life and give them back to us for a while longer? These are questions that cannot and will not be answered on this side of heaven.
Lazarus was given more life and would have died again in the future. There is also no indication if Lazarus was healed from his illness. Whatever happened to the three siblings they knew that God was their light and salvation (Psalm 27). They had faced death and had nothing to fear as they knew Jesus to be the true resurrection and life.
Jesus wanted Martha, Mary and Lazarus and the others gathered to see the glory of God. When the stone was rolled away, I believe that they did. The same as when the stone was rolled away on the first Easter.
Where does that leave us on a November afternoon in Charlwood at an All Souls service?
Love and mourning have no ending because they are tied up, plaited together
Jesus sees
There is a lot we do not and will not understand
But we can inquire in his temple, be hidden in the shelter of God
We can know that there is life in the resurrection
Finally, let your heart take courage. You are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses in the heavenlies and around you right now. All of us here have loved and lost. We can share God’s goodness with each other in the land of the living even while we wait.